A week ago I was a mess - I was literally begging God to spare my life and allow me to witness Ramadhan. I could not afford to die in the state I was in.

For some reason I had it stuck in my mind that if I were to die there and then, I would not attain Jannatul-Firdaus.

Okay, not for some reason, the reason was clear and I knew the reason.

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I felt hopeless.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was so far gone I could never get better. Call it lockdown blues, call it serotonin withdrawal, whatever you want, one thing was certain, I was fed up. For a brief moment I lost all interest in improving myself.

I'll share more on what I was facing on the blog, however here's a clue, "Uff"

Nim @Nimtendo_x I think often about how God had to stop and tell us not to say Uff to our parents. He kneewwwwwww they would be the ones testing us most on this planet. So he specifically said this one trial, bear it. February 5th yyyy 3 Retweets 6 Likes

In the run up to Ramadhan I've had one du'a on repeat, "Ya Rabb, spare me so I can see Ramadhan, grant me the opportunity to rectify".

Now that Ramadhan is here and we've successfully completed day one I can finally let out a sigh of relief - pheww. Though seeking forgiveness can be done at anytime, there's a certain sense of security that comes with Ramadhan that makes you more confident and even more hopeful.

The communal acts of worship, the sincere reminders of good and the overall atmosphere created by everyone's determination to reap the most of this blessed month.

This month truly embodies the theme of "new year, new me". This is my January and I have reset, I'm brand new y'all 💅.

This month came at exactly the right time, He's always there when I call and always on time.
The weight on my shoulders has been lifted and I truly feel I've been given a second chance. To me Ramadhan signifies hope. It's a powerful showcase of Allah SWT's mercy. It's like a game of monopoly but every card is a get out jail free card; the opportunity is already there, all you have to do is use it.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“When Ramadan enters, the gates of Paradise are opened, the gates of Hellfire are closed and the devils are chained.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The fasting that we're doing which only Allah SWT knows the reward for, the numerous opportunities to call onto Him, the standing through the nights in worship, the conversations held between us and Him through the Holy Quran and the many acts of worship we do - May they provide you with sakinah (tranquility). May you find home in Him through this month, may you find safekeeping as you journey through this dunya and may you find glory on the day of judgement.

How blessed are we to have a rope thrown out to us annually? A chance to rectify, a chance to reset and a chance to refresh. May we not be of those who squander opportunities freely given.

I for one am very thankful, the me of yesterday is no longer. Today is a new day and I step forward with the confidence that Allah has got my back. I'm shedding the past like a snake sheds its skin and I'm feeling fresh and rejuvenated, mentally and spiritually.

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

Whoever observes fasts during the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith, and hoping to attain Allah’s rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

I’d like to end this with a sincere request for forgiveness, if I’ve ever done anything to you that warrants an apology, please do forgive me. If you’re finding it difficult, I’d like to point out that that was old me, I don’t know her anymore.

I made like a Mac update and restarted - I’m all good now.

I pray Allah forgives our sins, overlooks our flaws, makes up for us where we fall short and includes us amongst the praise-worthy. May we never be disgraced and may Jannatul-Firdaus be our final abode.

Thank you for reading,

Nimz

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Du'a Of The Day:

Arabic:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي دِينِي وَدُنْيَايَ وَأَهْللِي، وَمَالِي، اللَّهُمَّ اسْتُرْ عَوْرَاتِي، وَآمِنْ رَوْعَاتِي، اللَّهُمَّ احْفَظْنِي مِنْ بَيْنِ يَدَيَّ، وَمِنْ خَلْفِي، وَعَنْ يَمِينِي، وَعَنْ شِمَالِي، وَمِنْ فَوْقِي، وَأَعُوذُ بِعَظَمَتِكَ أَنْ أُغْتَالَ مِنْ تَحْتِي

Transliteration:

Allaahumma 'innee 'as'alukal-'afwa wal'aafiyata fid-dunyaa wal'aakhirati, Allaahumma 'innee 'as'alukal-'afwa wal'aafiyata fee deenee wa dunyaaya wa 'ahlee, wa maalee, Allaahum-mastur 'awraatee, wa 'aamin raw'aatee, Allaahum-mahfadhnee min bayni yadayya, wa min khalfee, wa 'an yameenee, wa 'an shimaalee, wa min fawqee, wa 'a'oothu bi'adhamatika 'an 'ughtaala min tahtee

Translation:

O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness and Your protection in this world and the next. O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness and Your protection in my religion, in my worldly affairs, in my family and in my wealth. O Allah, conceal my secrets and preserve me from anguish. O Allah, guard me from what is in front of me and behind me, from my left, and from my right, and from above me. I seek refuge in Your Greatness from being struck down from beneath me.

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Ayat Of The Day:

Surah At-Tawbah (Q9: V111-112)

اِنَّ اللّٰهَ اشۡتَرٰى مِنَ الۡمُؤۡمِنِيۡنَ اَنۡفُسَهُمۡ وَاَمۡوَالَهُمۡ بِاَنَّ لَهُمُ الۡجَـنَّةَ​ ؕ يُقَاتِلُوۡنَ فِىۡ سَبِيۡلِ اللّٰهِ فَيَقۡتُلُوۡنَ وَ يُقۡتَلُوۡنَ​وَعۡدًا عَلَيۡهِ حَقًّا فِى التَّوۡرٰٮةِ وَالۡاِنۡجِيۡلِ وَالۡقُرۡاٰنِ​ ؕ وَمَنۡ اَوۡفٰى بِعَهۡدِهٖ مِنَ اللّٰهِ فَاسۡتَـبۡشِرُوۡا بِبَيۡعِكُمُ الَّذِىۡ بَايَعۡتُمۡ بِهٖ​ ؕ وَذٰ لِكَ هُوَ الۡفَوۡزُ الۡعَظِيۡمُ

Surely Allah has purchased of the believers their lives and their belongings and in return has promised that they shall have Paradise. They fight in the Way of Allah, and slay and are slain. Such is the promise He has made incumbent upon Himself in the Torah, and the Gospel, and the Qur'an. Who is more faithful to his promise than Allah? Rejoice, then, in the bargain you have made with Him. That indeed is the mighty triumph.

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اَلتَّاۤـئِبُوۡنَ الۡعٰبِدُوۡنَ الۡحٰمِدُوۡنَ السّاۤـئِحُوۡنَ الرّٰكِعُوۡنَ السّٰجِدُوۡنَ الۡاٰمِرُوۡنَ بِالۡمَعۡرُوۡفِ وَالنَّاهُوۡنَ عَنِ الۡمُنۡكَرِ وَالۡحٰـفِظُوۡنَ لِحُدُوۡدِ اللّٰه ِ​ؕ وَبَشِّرِ الۡمُؤۡمِنِيۡنَ‏

Those who constantly turn to Allah in repentance, who constantly worship Him, who celebrate His praise, who go about the world to serve His cause, who bow down to Him, who prostrate themselves before Him, who enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and who keep the limits set by Allah. Announce glad tidings to such believers.

You can find both the tafsir and my thoughts on my selections on the blog.

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